I’m really trying here, folks.

4 08 2010

Well, I’ve gone ahead and told my friends and family about my engagement. They’re not exactly as happy as I’d hoped.

I guess I can sort of see it from their point of view. I joined that program and essentially disappeared from their lives (or came close). Now here I am with a fiance that they’ve never met. As bad as my relationships in the past 10 years have been, I suppose they might have grounds for worry.

I never in a million years thought I’d be getting engaged to a guy less than 2 months after meeting him. I’m incredibly relationship-shy. I honestly thought that after Eric I’d need a very long time to recuperate, and that no man would ever compare to him. So I can see why they’d wonder what this was all about.

What’s hard to explain is that I have learned to trust my instinct. It has never been wrong before.  My instinct says that Kenny is The One. And those who have see us together understand what we have. I guess it’s just a matter of letting them meet him so that they can be assured that he’s genuinely nice and that we’re amazing together.

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Veggie Lasagna

3 03 2010

I hate coming up with titles for these things. Srsly.

So, I’m off work today. Yesterday didn’t blow. A bit slow, but it was Tuesday. Probably came close to making my numbers.  Remade one display bed- kept the bedding but added some accessories and generally made it look more visually appealing. Changed out another. I LOVE doing the beds and displays- it’s like making an art piece but it’s totally interactive.  Seriously, displays are my favorite part of my job by a long shot.

Yikes, it’s chilly in here.

I’m coping better with my decision to end my relationship. It wasn’t that I don’t love Eric more than life itself, because I do. I don’t anticipate being over him for a long time. But he went to Rhode Island for the summer and hasn’t come back. He may never. And from what I’ve heard RI is sort of a crappy place to live. Also, I always got the feeling that he didn’t take our relationship nearly as seriously as I did. I don’t date just for shits and giggles. I date with the intention of finding my life partner. He just didn’t seem keen on the idea of getting married and having babies- not sure if it was me or he just doesn’t want to get married, period. Dude’s been through 3 failed engagements so that’s probably a big issue right there.

Point is, I love him. I do. Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand to wave that would make all the bad parts of our relationship go away. But that’s not realistic. And I can do better than to spend what’s left of my prime waiting around for someone to realize that they love me as much as I love them. If it hasn’t happened by now it won’t. And I just need to suck it up and move on.  Even if it means I could very well spend the rest of my life alone because nobody will ever compare to him (his good points, at least).

Bleh. Need to get out of this funk.